Why

I believe one of the greatest gifts anyone can have is a loving and mutually supportive relationship.

I want the Academy for Relationships to help people across the world learn how to have better relationships in all aspects of life including:

Partner ■ Self ■ Children ■ Family
Work ■ Community ■ Country ■ Planet

The Relationship Paradigm series of books presents my unique model for relationships. The relationship story in each book is shared through the alternating perspectives of the key characters in an emotionally engaging parable.

The Academy for Relationships is the publishing home for this series of books and also provides a resource for people seeking information on relationship issues.

Our Mission

Our mission is to impact and improve 10 million relationships around the world in this decade.

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About This Book

I wrote this book because I believe one of the greatest gifts anyone can have is a loving, fulfilling and sustainable relationship with another person. Helping couples find each other again, and fall in love again, is the greatest joy.

But how do we get to that when things have gone bad, or are lifeless, or there is no closeness anymore, and it seems the only choice is to split? I also wondered how to write a book that wasn’t just another ‘Read this book, do that, and it’ll all be OK’, because the shelves are weighed down with those.

It was then that I decided to write this book as a parable; to make it accessible to everyone; to help readers identify with Rachel and John’s story as it unfolds; and be able to relate to the characters and their very different ‘voices’.

I want people to see that each of us has our own perspective, and that we feel and experience the same event so differently. I want readers to see themselves in the everyday scenarios that we’ve all been through and think, “Oh no, I say that”, or, “Yep, I do that”, and laugh, and cringe, and connect with our couple’s battle to get back to each other.

Having experienced this first-hand, I know how hard it is to talk to each other about the really important things that are causing difficulties and pain, and to be trapped in a cycle of blame and misery.

The face-to-face work I do with couples is immensely rewarding, and there have been many tears of happiness in witnessing the actual moment when a couple reconnect and fall in love again. It’s not just the couple who benefit, the impact on their children, friends, families and work relationships is incalculable.

However, there are only so many people we can see, and I want to find a way of helping people all around the world create and sustain great relationships. Writing this book, the first in a series, is a way of reaching those people.

I have three hopes for you when you read the book:

  1. I hope you enjoy reading it and get some value from it.
  2. I hope it helps you in your relationship, and you are able to talk openly about it with your partner.
  3. I hope you can really listen to each other as you explore what could be even better in your relationship, because you both deserve to have that.

Book Title: Reset ■ Publisher : Academy For Relationships ■ Genre : Non-Fiction
ISBN : 978-1-913483-00-5 ■ Price : £12.99
Size : 23cm x 14cm x 2cm ■ Weight : 609 grams

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About This Book

The second book Recover – Rebuilding trust after the shock of betrayal was published in February 2021. It looks at what happens when your partner has an affair and betrays you? How do you cope with the shock hurt and anger? How does your partner cope with your responses? Can you rebuild trust and the relationship? Do you want to?

Recover is an emotionally engaging parable sharing the everyday exchanges between Andy and Susan in their unfolding story after 12 years of marriage. Busy with work, stressed by Parenthood and with little spare time for each other. Understand what was behind the betrayal and how it impacts then. You are given the rare opportunity to hear alternative perspectives of the same events, to relate to what they’re going through and to identify with their battle to get back to each other.

The face-to-face work I do with couples is immensely rewarding, and there have been many tears of happiness in witnessing the actual moment when a couple reconnect and fall in love again. It’s not just the couple who benefit, the impact on their children, friends, families and work relationships is incalculable.

However, there are only so many people we can see, and I want to find a way of helping people all around the world create and sustain great relationships. Writing this book, the first in a series, is a way of reaching those people.

I have three hopes for you when you read the book:

  1. I hope you enjoy reading it and get some value from it.
  2. I hope it helps you in your relationship, and you are able to talk openly about it with your partner.
  3. I hope you can really listen to each other as you explore what could be even better in your relationship, because you both deserve to have that.

Book Title: Recover ■ Publisher : Academy For Relationships ■ Genre : Non-Fiction
ISBN : 978-1-913483-05-0 ■ Price : £12.99
Size : 15.24cm x 22.86cm x 1.78cm ■ Weight : 609 grams

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About This Book

In her latest book, Gwen Stirling-Wilkie draws on conversations with senior business leaders who are actively trying to find solutions to the challenges they face in their organisation. Their goal? To improve engagement, collaboration, talent retention and performance.

She combines this with insights from her research and 30 years of experience as a leader and organisational consultant.
It’s time to pause and review the working practices that underpin how work gets done, drawing on everyone’s recent experiences to create engaged teams who are able to do their best work. Gwen Stirling-Wilkie provides pragmatic guidance for leaders to do this, to refresh and reimagine the models of work in their organisation.

Creating a strategy to work effectively in all ways, from all places is not a one-size-fits all solution, it is a series of conversations and experiments within a set of guiding principles.

The future of work is becoming clearer, but we aren’t there yet. Smart leaders are listening to their people as they evolve new models of work and become the best omni-working organisation they can be.

Book Title: Omni-Working: In all ways, from all places ■ Publisher : Omni-Consulting ■ Genre : Non-Fiction
ISBN : 978-1-913483-33-3 ■ Price : £17.99
Size : 15.4cm x 1.5cm x 23.0cm

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Book Reviews

“Neil has produced that rarest of books. One that shares great ideas about how to improve our relationships without falling into clichéd stereotypes or preaching.

He uses the example of a couple whose relationship has fallen on difficult times. Busy with work, stress of parenthood, little spare time, serious lacking of intimacy. We have all been there.

He then takes the couple through the key elements of what they need to do to get back on track and what transpires.

It is a brilliant book that educates, inspires and entertains. Well done, Neil.”

– David Thomas
Sunday Times #1 bestselling author

“This is a wonderful book and a stunning idea. The stories from different perspectives is just so compelling. I felt that I was there with them living their painful relationship. My awareness of how relationships can move from intimacy to disconnection was sharpened and I felt such compassion for John and Rachel as they both felt so disillusioned with their ‘fairytale’. I kept thinking over and over, how many others are experiencing this in their own relationships and knew as I was reading it that this is a book for every couple who had become jaded with life, love and passion. Using a story to convey such a powerful message is brilliant because you can emotionally relate to the characters while reflecting on one’s own situation. To write a book with such empathy and sensitivity of what the different characters experience is truly skilful.”

– Nikki Owen
Best Selling Author and International Speaker on Charisma

Every now and again a new book comes along which really does add something new to our understanding of relationships.

This highly accessible and readable book draws on Neil Wilkie’s experience of working with hundreds of couples.
Thankfully it is not telling us to ‘do’ anything but rather to reflect on our own relationships. I spent half the time reading and the other half asking myself challenging questions.

Rachel and John’s story is very real and provides powerful insights to assist couples to reconnect and talk to each other.

– Jeff Grout
Author, Business Speaker, Consultant & Coach

“Thought provoking and a very enjoyable read at the same time. A masterpiece”

– Philip Hesketh
Best Selling Author and International Authority on Persuasion and Influence

“There are many ‘How to …’ books on relationship issues written as self-help manuals. These can be useful and informative but somewhat dry. Neil Wilkie takes a different approach in Reset that we really like. It’s the inside story of a wife and husband with a real-life issue. Their narrative reveals how they work through their relationship problems – the highs-and-lows, the give-and-takes – and how they develop as individuals in the process. Many couples will enjoy reading Reset and benefit by learning how to improve their own relationship at the same time.”

– Penny Tompkins and James Lawley
Authors of Metaphors in Mind: Transformation through Symbolic Modelling (And married for 27 years!)

“This is a book that every couple should read. From the first paragraph I was hooked, a great story and so many tips to improve or save your relationship.

I have known Neil for many years in his capacity as a CEO Chair and mentor, but did not realise what a wonderful author he is. This story built around four characters and could be based on real life or fiction, it has you wondering all the time.

As an avid reader of authors like Lee Child where you can’t stop reading, I found Neil’s book the same. Fascinating, funny, sad and so true to life.

The story weaves through different times, stages and situations and has you feeling that you are right there, watching and seeing the remarkable changes happen to John & Rachel.

Whether you are in a great, indifferent or failing relationship, you will find wisdom, ideas and strategies to go back to the time when you were starry eyed and madly in love with each other.

A ‘must’ read for everyone.”

– Frank Furness
International Best Selling Author and Motivational Speaker

“This is an incredible book that holds the power on every page to enlighten and reawaken love that has become trapped in the chaos of family life. A book on relationships that relates to the reader without the irritating ‘Do this” directive that self-help books can evoke. Powerful, mesmerising and uplifting – the journey of relationships and how awareness can re-ignite the love once more.”

– Nikki Owen
Best Selling Author and International Speaker on Charisma

“What a refreshingly easy read about a couple’s journey from intimacy, to separateness, and back to love. In writing Reset, Neil has managed to capture the loneliness and desperation that many of us can relate to when love and intimacy leave a relationship. More importantly, as we follow Rachel and John’s journey to find each other again, we learn how to bring this wonderfully healing paradigm into our own relationships. Having experienced Neil’s process with my husband, I cannot recommend this important book highly enough to those many couples who know life should be more enriching.”

– Lindsey Kleinlercher
Award winning Retailer

“Wow! This book is a true game changer, when you consider the relationships in our lives and those that are most important to us of. We are often blinded by our own perception of what reality actually is and will struggle to see and empathise with the other person. This book allows you to put yourself ‘in their shoes’.

Neil has found a way through his style to just give us every ounce of perspective. Every time I read a chapter I stopped, paused and reflected on my own relationships, on how even as a coach I need to re-evaluate my position on what, how and when I operate with the other person.

A must-read for anybody in a relationship wherever it is and however much love and success is there.”

– Adam Harris
Author and Coach

“As someone deeply entrenched in the study of social dynamics and the ever-changing landscape of work, I can enthusiastically endorse Gwen Stirling-Wilkie’s book on Omni-Working. Her emphasis on ‘how’ people work, practical framework, and adaptability make this book a transformative resource. This is truly a valuable guide for navigating the evolving work landscape.”

– Michael J. Arena, Ph.D
Author of Adaptive Space and former Chief Talent Officer, General Motors

“Amidst the ever-evolving landscape of post pandemic office dynamics, Gwen Stirling-Wilkie has brightly illuminated the path forward. With eloquence and insight, she invites us to reimagine the world of work through the Omni-Working Framework. Seven elements that transcend the physical boundaries of office spaces, where both employees and companies can thrive synergistically, re-evaluating and enhancing our approach to work regardless of location.

In a world where flexibility and adaptability are paramount, and delivering sustainable profits are increasingly important, Gwen equips us with the knowledge and strategies needed to thrive, making this book a must-read for anyone fostering excellence in today’s workplace.”

– Amanda Paxon
UK Country Manager Prescriptions Medicine, Consiliant Health

“This book addresses a critical topic for all organisations in the post-Covid world. Gwen Stirling-Wilkie has created an essential guide for busy leaders to help them maximise performance, productivity and wellbeing. Omni-Working provides a very helpful framework which covers the important issues in a holistic and integrated way to help move beyond where people work to how people work so they can connect with intention and purpose.

Focusing on the current and future needs of organisations and their employees will help create workplaces which attract talented people and ensure they are engaged and retained for future success.”

– Stephen Pierce
Vice President and Chief HR Officer, Hitachi Europe Ltd

“There is no one quite like Gwen when it comes to understanding and demystifying the myriad of permutations and opportunities that the new ways of working presents.

It can seem too complex and become overly emotional as we navigate the perceived conflicting demands of work and people. But, as Gwen clearly demonstrates, it is not a choice of one or the other. If we get stuck in the conundrum of “where” people work then there is no solution. Gwen has created the 7 principles of Omni-Working that move us into a focus on “how” we work together in the most effective way for the team and the business. It is a brilliant, win-win concept.

The expression Gwen uses that really inspires me is that we must focus on coming together “with intention and purpose, not prescription” – that is a powerful and liberating leadership mindset for us all to hold as we wrestle with this modern work dynamic. It is the outcome of a truly compassionate approach – understanding with positive action, and a practical guide to living the life of a compassionate leader.

The Omni-Working Framework provides a brilliant checklist for leaders to use when considering and, critically, co-designing the ideal working environment for their particular business and situation that “secures the best for all”

Don’t just read it, use it! Hurrah!”

– Manley Hopkinson FRSA FRGS
Founder of the Compassionate Leadership Academy, Keynote speaker, business leader and adventurer.

About The Authors

Neil Wilkie was born in Scotland, but moved to the New Forest as a child. He spent many years in business, in chartered accountancy, strategy consultancy, directorships and into business ownership. A change of career in his fifties into psychotherapy led to him working with successful but unhappy people who were keen, like him, to discover their real purpose. This segued into relationship work, and after researching and experiencing conventional relationship counselling in the UK, he decided there was a need for a different approach, and set up Duo Coaching ten years ago.

Neil is no stranger to relationships and the multi-faceted experience they are. From falling in love aged twenty with a girl from the Caribbean but then marrying the girl next door, he escaped, bruised and battered, after discovering her multiple infidelities into the arms of a work colleague. Taking on her two children, and adopting two of their own, they had some good times, and some not-so-good times, and after twenty years, and three failed attempts at relationship counselling, they parted company.

It was at this time that Neil saw the need for more focussed and supportive counselling, and has since worked with hundreds of couples, helping them move from a place of despair and unhappiness to one of closeness and harmony.

Neil is now married to Gwen with whom both strengths and weaknesses are celebrated as they support each other in being the best they can be. Still living in the New Forest, he loves walking, cycling and sailing their boat, Moon River, south to the Med, a little bit at a time.

Neil Wilkie Author

Gwen Stirling Wilkie: MBA, MSc, FRSA
Gwen is well respected in her field, admired by colleagues and clients alike for the quality of her work and the deep relationships she develops, many of which are long lasting.

Gwen worked at a senior level in well-known retail businesses during periods of rapid growth and expansion, has been a charity trustee, a Board member, and more recently an Executive Director in a consulting business. She understands the pressures of being a Director and senior leader, she knows what it takes to run a business.

She believes that people are more talented than they realise, that teams are more collectively brilliant than they gives themselves credit for, and that organisations and systems hold more wisdom than we tap into.

The secret to her success is her ability to take a relational approach and bring people together for conversations that matter. She adopts principles of co-creation and participation which are drawn from behavioural science, dialogue, and complexity sciences. These approaches create a space for people to contribute, thrive and grow in a healthy and successful organisation.

She complements her practical leadership experience with her professional qualifications and certifications: an MBA and MSc in Consultancy + Change from HULT Ashridge Business School, NTL OD Practitioner, Advanced Systemic Constellations, Relational Organisational Gestalt, Team Coaching, and psychometric accreditations. She is a Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts, and faculty on the NTL OD Certificate Programme in Europe.

Her award winning first book, From Physical Place to Virtual Space – how to design and host transformative spaces online (2001), was one of the first books of it’s kind when published early in the pandemic.

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